back to school

Alrighty, so its "Back to School" for all of you sweet high schoolers... Well, and even some of my comrades have already made it to college... So I have some advice. (Assuming that you have already hit up all of the sweet "Back to School" sales and over-indulged in buying gadzooks of pens, pencils, college-ruled paper, trendy clothes, and other super neccessary tools for LEARNING.)

Don't get a good night's sleep, or you'll be waaaay too alert during class. -Its only the first day, you've heard the same rules a hundred times.

Don't wear all of your "new clothes" on the first day. -How hokey is that? Wear your fave tee and jeans. Or wear nothing. Whatever you feel more comfortable in.

Don't bring a back pack with all of your supplies. All you really need is a couple pieces of paper, your schedule and a pencil. -Don't lose it. (You could just bring a Bible and try to convince all of your teachers that its "all you need.")

Bring an apple for all of your teachers.

NEVER LOAN OUT YOUR PENS OR PENCILS. YOU WILL NOT GET THEM BACK.
And charge for pieces of paper. Mom and Dad didn't buy you enough college-ruled paper to share with the whole entire school.

Don't take the bus. Avoid it at all causes. It stinks, its loud, and it takes forever. Call every single one of your neighbors to get a ride. Walk if you can. Bike if you want. Just don't ride the bus until you absolutely have to. -My freshmen year, I avoided the bus for TWO entire weeks.

Swap all the dry erase markers with permanent ones before class starts.

Don't eat school lunch. You wont make it through the day after eating a grease-piece of pizza, an ounce of milk, and a few wilting pieces of lettuce. Bring a sack lunch, plan on walking to McDonald's, or hitch a ride from some super-awesome person with a car.

Don't tell the teachers too much about yourself. -They might use it against you in the future.

Stand to ask questions and sing all of your questions, speak in rhymes, and snort when you laugh.

Take notes on all of the teacher's rules. If you disagree with any of them, be upfront from the beginning and protest them. Get the class to riot and change the rules.

Bring a barbecue, hot dogs and all the fixin's so you can have a BBQ at the end of the day! Make sure you submit an announcement for Mrs. Meecham to read that says, "And students, don't forget to stop by for a hot dog on your way out, cooked just for you by the janitor..."

Speaking of the janitor, be sure and to make really good friends with the janitor. It can really work to your advantage when you get yourself into a bit of a mess. -You never know when you might need a mop and bucket.

Whatever happens, just remember to smile. And if something really goes wrong, always have a piece of paper with, "CHECK YOUR FLY" written in huge letters on it to wave at your teacher.

Learn lots children!