la-la land

"Ugghh! This fire is never going to start! We need more kindling, and other dry stuff," Leah said as she and Lucas decided to explore deeper into the forest. The three of us were at Magic Island with the intent of making a fire and cooking some beef dogs. As they were back in the woods, I continued to hear the people at the nearest house yelling and exclaiming what sounded like drunken nonsense. Lucas seemed a little bit more aware of the noise, but I didn't think much of it. After they had collected more wood and we had managed to create a stronger flame, Lucas was staring down the beach and calmly said, "There's a bear on the beach." I reacted calmly, until the "drunken" hollers became more clear, "BEAR! HEY! BEAR! THERE'S A BEAR! WATCH OUT! BEAR!"

We panicked as we watched the bear creep back into the forest after tearing apart a couple fish and eating them. Under normal circumstances, any human that sees a bear moves away from the bear, out of harm's way, and lets it enjoy its nature. However, the trail that led to our escape (my Volvo), was in the same direction as the bear's path. So, we stood with our backs to the beach, scanning the woods, speaking of loud nonsense. We decided that we were better off enjoying our fire and being aware of our unexpected guest.

We continued to make lots of noise and Leah even cooked a hot dog. Within fifteen minutes, the "drunken" yells returned. They quickly caught our attention this time and we focused our eyes to the beach. The bear was again on the beach, this time twice as close. (If we had wanted, we could have walked towards the bear for less than a minute and been able to touch Mr. Bruin (assuming that it didn't move.)) Instead of allowing the bear to continue its search for food, I yelled, and hollered to make our presence undoubted. The people on the deck at the nearby house went silent as they were most likely setting bets on the fate of our lives. When my helpless yells finally caught the bear's attention, it sniffed the air briefly, and then mosied its way back up into the woods, where it seemed to remain for the rest of the evening... At about 10 pm when it was pitch black, we carefully, but loudly walked back to the car. Those are the kind of times that when its all over, and you're home, and laying in bed, you're thankful for the familiarity and safety of your warm, protected covers.

back to school

Alrighty, so its "Back to School" for all of you sweet high schoolers... Well, and even some of my comrades have already made it to college... So I have some advice. (Assuming that you have already hit up all of the sweet "Back to School" sales and over-indulged in buying gadzooks of pens, pencils, college-ruled paper, trendy clothes, and other super neccessary tools for LEARNING.)

Don't get a good night's sleep, or you'll be waaaay too alert during class. -Its only the first day, you've heard the same rules a hundred times.

Don't wear all of your "new clothes" on the first day. -How hokey is that? Wear your fave tee and jeans. Or wear nothing. Whatever you feel more comfortable in.

Don't bring a back pack with all of your supplies. All you really need is a couple pieces of paper, your schedule and a pencil. -Don't lose it. (You could just bring a Bible and try to convince all of your teachers that its "all you need.")

Bring an apple for all of your teachers.

NEVER LOAN OUT YOUR PENS OR PENCILS. YOU WILL NOT GET THEM BACK.
And charge for pieces of paper. Mom and Dad didn't buy you enough college-ruled paper to share with the whole entire school.

Don't take the bus. Avoid it at all causes. It stinks, its loud, and it takes forever. Call every single one of your neighbors to get a ride. Walk if you can. Bike if you want. Just don't ride the bus until you absolutely have to. -My freshmen year, I avoided the bus for TWO entire weeks.

Swap all the dry erase markers with permanent ones before class starts.

Don't eat school lunch. You wont make it through the day after eating a grease-piece of pizza, an ounce of milk, and a few wilting pieces of lettuce. Bring a sack lunch, plan on walking to McDonald's, or hitch a ride from some super-awesome person with a car.

Don't tell the teachers too much about yourself. -They might use it against you in the future.

Stand to ask questions and sing all of your questions, speak in rhymes, and snort when you laugh.

Take notes on all of the teacher's rules. If you disagree with any of them, be upfront from the beginning and protest them. Get the class to riot and change the rules.

Bring a barbecue, hot dogs and all the fixin's so you can have a BBQ at the end of the day! Make sure you submit an announcement for Mrs. Meecham to read that says, "And students, don't forget to stop by for a hot dog on your way out, cooked just for you by the janitor..."

Speaking of the janitor, be sure and to make really good friends with the janitor. It can really work to your advantage when you get yourself into a bit of a mess. -You never know when you might need a mop and bucket.

Whatever happens, just remember to smile. And if something really goes wrong, always have a piece of paper with, "CHECK YOUR FLY" written in huge letters on it to wave at your teacher.

Learn lots children!

god bless

The super-classy Fresh Fish van I drive for work has the ability to attract all types of people and the capacity to haul many things and beings; like large totes of fish, big boxes of frozen fish, and loads of people! I was driving out the road the other day, just about to pass Sea Mart when I saw four unfamiliar desperate souls with their thumbs stretched out in the road. They were obviously hitch hiking.

Everytime I see hitch hikers, I look at them, begin to slow down, swerve over a bit, get nervous and swerve back into the road and speed up. And then I look back and think, "Dang it, I should have just picked them up. They look harmless." But on this particular day, some alternative power convinced me to pull over right away and welcome then into my fine mobile of transportation. They climbed in after struggling with the front door, sliding door and back door that usually requires a crow bar to open and continuously thanked me for picking them up. I got the warm fuzzies and asked them where they were headed. "Oh, we're headed to the ferry terminal. Our ferry leaves at 1 pm."

It was presently 12:35. -They never would have made it to the ferry terminal in time. It must have been some higher power that created such a perfect coincidence. I asked the three girls and one guy where they were from and what they were doing in our neck of the woods. Their homes were scattered all over the U.S. and it turned out that they were on a Christian Mission! They were out to spread the word of God! At this point I had to purse my lips from gleaming a big sarcastic smile. They continued to tell me that they were on a mission to visit 50 states in 50 weeks and had 13 more states to go. Their next state would be Hawaii. Supposedly, they started on January 8th. Anyway, when we finally reached the ferry terminal, it was 12: 47 pm (lucky for them, walking never would have got them to the terminal in time).

They awkwardly climbed out of the big, ol' stinky van, thanked me, repeatedly murmered "God Bless" and handed me a business card that included their webpage in case I ever wanted to look them up at www.thewaveusa.com. I'm tellin' ya, the Fresh Fish van really knows how to pick up the keepers...