barista babes

"Hey, Tiffany, I need a pink 'Poo,' and a 'mookie.'" -Yells Courtney behind the counter of the Highliner as she refers to a "Poo Bear" which is a cup of flavored steamed milk, and a mookie, which is a muffin/cookie.

Working along side Tiffany and Courtney are more "ee" sounds; Chelsea, Ashley, Becky and Darcie, most of which are blond and beautiful. It seems to be the new glamorous job to have. My mom tells me that in her younger day, the "babes" were Flight Attendants. (Obviously, the standard has been lowered since then. Being a flight attendant now, just requires big, poofy hair, and lots of hairspray and make-up.)

Their daily duties as baristas are quite simple, make coffee and look hot while doing it. Well, the latter part is not really a requirement. However, it is how many make large tips. -Which in fact bugs the poo bear out of me. I work down at the dock all day, rain or shine, hauling large totes of fish up the dock. But do I receive tips? No. Instead, my customers get off the boat, throw their fish at me after countless questions, and head over to the coffee shop and buy a $4 cup of coffee, and leave the perky-breasted, blond, airhead a $2 tip for her two-minutes of work.

Who started this trend of over-tipping baristas? I believe we ought to go on strike. No more tips for cute coffee girls. Its out of control... The other day, I was talking about my softball team, and I referred to Julia in front of a strange old man (33 years old) and rather than saying, "Oh, that great shortstop?", he said, "Oh, you mean that hot chick that makes coffee at Lakeside?"

Yeah, I am jealous of all you coffee gals, so don't expect a tip from me... I'll give you my change if it doesn't include any quarters or dollar bills.