drug testing at its best

Blaaaah... Grrr... Uggghhh... Hisssss... Arg. Back, back, back to school. I barely made it through the long, long mundane day. 1st period, during band, I commented to Sam that I've never been drug-tested. Big whoop. We discussed the lack of 'randomness,' blah blah blah. Well, come 2nd period, during French, Mrs. Will notified me that I needed to go to the office. "Damn it... I hate housing," I thought. I assumed they were going to try to convince me to house some stupid Juneau softball players or something... About halfway down our slippery stairs, it dawned on me that Mondays are drug-testing days. A woman with a clipboard standing in the office confirmed this; she was the school nurse. "Are you Elizabeth Mattingly!?" "Uh... yeah, I suppose," I replied.
"Are you currently involved in a sport, Elizabeth?"
"Yeah," I said on behalf of the softball team's best fricken hitter (moi).
"Oh goody, come right this way for your random drug test!"
I followed the woman into the bathroom where she explained everything you could ever, ever want to know about the procedure of random drug testing at Sitka High School. Oh, and not just the PRESENT procedure, but also the history of drug testing at SHS, past experiences, and much other crap that now takes up valuable space somewhere in my mind. The most exciting part of the lecture (for her) was explaining the actual urine specimen tester-thingy. She excited over the wonderful lavendar color of the double lines that are supposed to show up to confirm a negative reading (no drugs in your pee).
Anyway, she finally left the room, I did my duty and she returned to test it. The double LAVENDAR lines appeared and she jumped up for joy, splashing the urine all over herself and the counter. My required part was done; I had passed the test. I returned to french class.