its not really beginning to look a lot like christmas

I was cleaning out my desk today when I noticed an old article I wrote for the Pushka as a sophomore. It was written for the Christmas edition, and I know its not Christmas, but I just couldn't resist... So here are some reported gifts.

"During last year's band gift exchange, I received a voodoo doll and a tiara from a mystery person. Its ok though, I just torment them through the voodoo doll."-Clea Will

"I got a foot massager from my grandma. I was really disappointed when I first opened it, but then I realized it was actually pretty cool. It had those little moving people things sticking out... It made me feel good."-Manfred Bekeris

"During Christmas season I usually get lazy and start running out of money, so I just start giving people stuff from my room like used candles."-Kelsey Hagan

"Nate Mullins gave me a pound of roast beef. I'm a vegetarian."-Gretchen Stelzenmuller

"Last year I got my old basketball and a bunch of rocks wrapped up in a box. I asked my mom why she even bothered wrapping it. She said she wanted it to look like I had more presents."-Morgan Martin

"Marissa Stahla gave me a homemade candy choo-choo train. The train had Oreos for wheels and a lifesaver smoke stack. I thought it would make a good snack until she told me that she used Elmer's glue to hold it all together."-Laurel Eliason

"Every year my dad gets me the exact same thing for Christmas. Beef jerkey, socks and shampoo."-Robyn Schlins

"Someone gave me a big box of phone books and dictionaries. I was thinking it wasn't a gooder until I found a Rugrat's CD at the bottom of the box."-Joy Ribao

"My grandpa is a bit of a gardening fanatic. A couple years ago, our family received a pickle in a bottle from him. Supposedly, he had grown it himself."-Kaari Stockel

"My dad used to be the principal of Keet Gooshi Heen and sometimes he'd have to confiscate items from kids. He saved [all the confiscated items] until Christmas, wrapped them, and gave them to me. Usually, I got random things like knives, handcuffs, and one time, a skateboard!"-Hannah Hutton

"One year, I gave all of my friends anti-fungal cream."-Jesse Remund

"Last year I got giant granny underwear from some friends. I started to open them in front of my parents, but when I realized what was in the package, I ran to my room and hid the gift."-Jennifer Vallion

"My secret Santa gave me two bottles of men's cologne."-Jodie Totten

"I got these incredibly ugly, green and red, knee-high socks with Christmas trees and bells on them from my grandma."-Abby Sparrowgrove

"Grandmas really just shouldn't give gifts. A couple years ago, my grandma gave me a neon-green swimsuit with a padded bra and ruffle going across the stomach. She made me try it on and come out and model it for her. It came all the way down to my knees. My grandma just smiled and said, "Well, what do you think?" I looked at her with a fake smile and told her that it was very nice and thanked her."-Sarah Reynolds

"Jesse Hughey gave me a Fisher Price toy doctor's bag filled with peanuts and spam last year. No joke."-Sean Griffin

"A few years ago, I received ONE shoe filled with a bunch of scrunchies. It was from my grandma... We're a little worried about her..."-Cory Welsh